Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
