I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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