next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize