Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
