The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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