sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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