She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
