who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
