All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Randomize
