That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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