i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
being pregnant is like rehab
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
