Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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