I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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