too bad you live with your parents still
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
