and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
