i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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