He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
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When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
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Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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