Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
