Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
