So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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