do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
