On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
