Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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