Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
