i can't believe i had my finger in that
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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