it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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