sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Best friends brother. Beat that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
sex in a hospital.. check
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
