What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
