Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.