i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me