she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
