farters have to be the big spoon...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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