remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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