She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
