Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
