Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
