the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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