Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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