if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
