i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize