It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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