Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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