We need to rekindle our bromance
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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