cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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