the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Green mimosas i think yes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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