This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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