so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
