its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
