Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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