do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
