dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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