Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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