she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
