Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
