another moral hangover. fuck.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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