She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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