That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
