Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
