nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
