He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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