Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
